You don’t say

“Put in your false teeth and go to it.”

Kansas State professor Barry Flinchbaugh speaking at Rotary about his response to former Sen. Alan Simpson, co-chair of President Obama’s National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform, when a frustrated Simpson asked Flinchbaugh, “How do you chew the president’s butt?”

How to succeed in business without really opening: NuPenny on East Douglas is the ultimate in window shopping

UPDATED – Most people understand that one of the first steps to succeeding in business is to open a business.

That’s not Randy Regier’s approach.

But then, he’s not just a business owner. First — and foremost — he’s an artist.

He’d love for you to drop by his new NuPenny Toy Store, which he put the finishing touches on just after midnight on Tuesday after “way too many trips to Lowe’s.”

It’s at 1714 E. Douglas, which is two doors down from the Donut Whole and just across from Tanya’s Soup Kitchen.

Part nostalgic, part futuristic, the brightly lit shop full of shiny silver toys beckons passers-by to stop in, but they can’t.

“It’s like a ‘Twilight Zone‘ episode in a toy store that no one ever goes in and no one shows up,” Regier says.

He could go into great lengths, he says, about what it all means. That would spoil the fun, though.

Regier’s thought is “the idea of discovering something.” It’s an experience, and one that he doesn’t want to prejudice.

“It’s not so much not wanting to talk about it,” he says. Talking, though, “can take all the mystery from it.”

“It can be sort of mythical and mystical and bizarre and weird.”

The toys are made from things such as old toasters and Electrolux vacuum parts.

A London writer who wrote of Regier’s work examined it for his ability to create desire. Shoppers may want to come in, but can’t.

There’s no use advising Regier on another business model.

“I have business friends who have tried that,” he says. “I’ll just say they’ve given up on me.

“My business model is, ‘Good luck with that.’ ”

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You don’t say

“We’re going to keep it at 10 so the KU grads can count the number of schools in the conference.”

Kansas State president Kirk Schulz, joking at Rotary today about why the Big 12 conference will stay with only 10 schools