What’s really wrong with Wichita

It’s true: Wichita is in fact a culturally-backward Mesozoic marketplace lacking the true essential of an authentic 21st Century Midwest metropolis.

Why the sudden shift to negativity, you ask? The answer is simple: I demand a free-standing Chick-Fil-A in Wichita.

NOW!!!!!

Because without it, we’re behind some of the truly culturally enlightened centers along I-35. Another Polynesian restaurant? Bah. New steakhouse? Who cares? And what’s with this “gastropub” stuff?

Our fair city must be defended against market saturation by repetitive theme restaurants.

Nope. Wichita will never hit the big time in my eyes until I can score a nugget 8-pack without going to Wichita State University.

(Author’s note: The above column is close-captioned for the humor impaired.)

17 Comments

  1. klohrenz
    Posted October 21, 2008 at 5:05 pm | Permalink

    YES. And a Planet Sub near Old Town.

  2. bth
    Posted October 21, 2008 at 7:59 pm | Permalink

    Must have a Billygoats on Lower Main. Of course, for that we also must have a Lower Mani Street!

  3. ictBest
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 12:42 am | Permalink

    What about White Castle?

  4. bth
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 7:54 am | Permalink

    SLIDERS!!!!!

  5. jsiebenmark
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 11:59 am | Permalink

    Steak & Shake and as many Dunkin Donuts stores as we have Starbucks!

  6. ez_12
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 12:02 pm | Permalink

    Rubio’s Home of the Fish Taco!

  7. JudyH
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 12:27 pm | Permalink

    A 100% Vegetarian Restaurant….just like the big cities!!! Wow, now that would be cool.

  8. Bill Wilson
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 12:43 pm | Permalink

    Fish tacos?

    Ugh.

    We’ve strayed a LONG way from the inventor of the chicken sandwich.

  9. bth
    Posted October 22, 2008 at 2:46 pm | Permalink

    I had a herring taco in Amsterdam … interesting …

  10. ictBest
    Posted October 23, 2008 at 12:14 am | Permalink

    On The Border has fish tacos and they are money. Good stuff indeed.

  11. Bill Wilson
    Posted October 23, 2008 at 10:36 am | Permalink

    Ugh. You guys are on your own on the fish taco thing.

  12. Gangsta
    Posted October 23, 2008 at 12:45 pm | Permalink

    Sabor has a great fish tacos dish too. Dee-lish.

  13. jerry
    Posted October 23, 2008 at 4:54 pm | Permalink

    Amen on Rubio’s. They also have a mahi-mahi burrito that is #1 on my west coast must have’s.

  14. wildcat
    Posted October 24, 2008 at 6:59 am | Permalink

    Chik-Fi-A??? Nasty Stuff!!!

  15. bwilson
    Posted October 24, 2008 at 8:52 am | Permalink

    In the spirit of full disclosure: If it swims, I won’t eat it.

    Hence my firm position against all things fish, including tacos.

  16. newarview
    Posted October 24, 2008 at 2:52 pm | Permalink

    Remember when Hardees was king here?

  17. Bill Wilson
    Posted October 24, 2008 at 3:46 pm | Permalink

    The new Hardees is Carl’s Jr., popular in Oklahoma and really not that bad in the world of fast food eating.