Business Casual

I tried switching from one phone service to another last week (actually, I’ve tried several times, but that’s a whole other sob story) so I could bundle all my services.

Instead, I have no services. No home phone. No Internet. Since FRIDAY.

I’ll cut to the chase on an extremely long, highly frustrating story:

Evil Company No. 1 has to switch something off my existing phone service before my number can be transferred to Evil Company No. 2. After at least four phone calls totaling more than an hour and 15 minutes (”Press 1 if you want to …”) with one company and at least six calls totaling — and I’m not making this up — close to two hours with another one, a representative named Kyle actually said, “We’re not trying to hold you hostage, although I’m sure that’s the way it seems.”

The galling thing — and I wish I were making up this part — is that after royally ticking me off by being slow, rude and generally unconcerned about my situation as he spouted his Evil Company’s standard lines (”We’re sorry for the inconvenience …”), Kyle turned into a suave salesman who tried to sell me new services. I was too stunned to properly admonish him.

Suffice it to say, I’m thinking evil thoughts about both companies and am seeking retribution. Sadly, I can’t do it in print. I’d threaten to spread the word to every friend, enemy, business contact and passerby I can reach, but I think most people already know that we’re captive to bad service. I would just like to say that if some company out there finds a way to have good service (and the automated customer survey at the end of these calls is not cutting it), someone stands to make a fortune.

Please, someone, get on it.