I find the daily Opinion Line published in The Eagle to be one of the most frightening aspects of American society. Gee, that sounded like something I would read in Opinion Line.
Anyway, you know the game I sometimes like to play here. I’ll re-print one of the OL contributions and then attempt to describe the person, who is cloaked in anonymity. But I have ways of seeing through that. So here goes:
What’s the world coming to? I bought three packages of cigarettes in a smoke shop and was told I couldn’t have a book of matches because of cost cutting.
First of all, if you’re buying three packs of cigarettes in a smoke shop, you’re biggest concern shouldn’t be getting free matches. This is a middle-aged man who coughs a lot. He has leathery skin and, let’s just say, there is a distinct aroma when he enters a room. His hair is oily, his eyes are beady and his voice is deep. He drives an old Lincoln and has a pit bull. His lawn is poorly manicured and he stamps out a cigarette with his shoe every night before he enters his house after coming home from work.